Monday, May 16, 2016

One Simple Trick to Improve Your Quality of Life

I can’t come right out and tell you the trick. That is too simple. No, we need some build up first. Maybe I can get you really curious by telling you that the trick does not take up your precious free time. In fact, it may save you some time. It also won’t cost you anything. Again, it may save you money. It will also give you a larger penis or vagina, whichever you prefer. So, what is the trick? Let me first give you a little background on how I discovered it.

I Was a Fat Useless Slob

Once upon a time, I was a fat useless slob. It was a time that continues to the present. I’m still a fat useless slob, but now, I’m feeding my brain. You see, I used to hurry up and finish my work for the day, so I could turn on the TV, find something to binge watch, rub on my phone, and just coast until bed time. I would neglect my family, my body, my mind, and my civic duties.

One day, after I had finished binge watching a very unsatisfying docudrama – we’ll just call it “Baking a Butcherer” – I could not find anything else I wanted to watch. This led me to question what I was doing with my life. What if I did find something enjoyable to watch? It would just take up quarters of dozens of hours of my life that I would never get back. I doubt I’ll ever be on my death bed regretting that I never watched Jessica Jones.
I'm sure she's a very nice young lady.
Also, I realized there was no dialogue between my family and me. If I tried to ask my wife something, she would ignore me because she was too busy watching the TV or rubbing on her phone. I eventually stopped even trying to talk to her.

My Brain Was Empty

Worst of all, I felt my $100,000+ education going to waste as my brain turned to mush. I was basically a thoughtless consumer: right where the bourgeoisie wanted me. I would just work, pay taxes, and not notice how the average American was being screwed. Why should I care? I was entertained. And, I was happy until I ran out of things to watch.
You can only watch so much static.
Books and Moderation

We all know that TV is bad for us and that picking up a book is good. Yet, we consistently choose the former over the latter. To “trick” myself into turning off the TV and phone more, I made a rule: I could only watch as much TV and go on social media as much as I read. So, for instance, if I wanted to spend 15 minutes on Facebook (the max per day I allow myself) and watch 45 minutes of TV, I would first need to read a book for an hour.

I have done this for many fortnights now, and I have noticed that reading is much more rewarding. My brain feels like it is firing on a couple more cylinders. I prefer nonfiction books, so I let my interests lead me in fun and immoral directions. I’ve even started to blog about it. I now carry a book with me everywhere I go instead of wasting time rubbing on my phone.

Best of all, this practice gives me a smug sense of self-righteousness that allows me to look down my nose at everyone else. You should give it a try for a month!

What are your thoughts?

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